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where can i find pot

Or you can just hope for the best. Put the vibe out. Life is random. Weird things happen. Once I was in a bodega, and this guy approached me and handed me a card that said, “Call Smiley” and had his phone number on it, exactly like the one in Half Baked. I was so taken aback, because I had actually been looking for a new weedman after my previous weedman, whose name was Philip but went by Bling, had retired. Smiley, whose name was actually Fire, was in fact looking to sell me some marijuana. It took me a minute to collect myself, but he sold me some tree right on the spot. I bought weed from him for awhile until his aspiring music career started taking off. Also, he started hitting on me.

If you’re traveling somewhere and you need to find weed, the simplest thing you can do is think of anyone you may know in that city. If you don’t know anyone directly, chances are you know someone who knows someone. Do a little digging. Someone will be able to lead you in the right direction if you want it bad enough.
Which brings up an important point: Don’t mix business with pleasure. This is sort of an unspoken rule, one you have seen laid out in such film classics as Grandma’s Boy and Pineapple Express. You don’t have this problem ever if you use a delivery service, but you probably will if you’re sourcing your sticky icky from a random dude or lady. They’re gonna want to smoke up with you. And sure, be polite and take that bong hit, but don’t linger. You don’t want to be friends with your weed dealer. It will always get weird.

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So you want to score some fresh weed, and you are not fortunate enough to live in one of those states that has made the sensible decision to decriminalize it. Congratulations: You’re cool, and you’ve come to the right place (within the wrong place). It’s not that hard to score bud with the right amount of finesse. Come with me as I guide you on a keef-paved road to sparking up.
So if all those things fail you, just go to your nearest Cypress Hill concert or University of Vermont alumni networking event. Just kidding! Actually, though, either of those things would likely get results. I have some miscellaneous tips as well. I’ve mentioned this before , but chat up your local cab drivers. In New York, this doesn’t work because cab drivers tend to be normal people with homes in Queens and kids in middle school, and they aren’t the men and women about town they once were. But in other places where the cab industry isn’t as robust or formal, this works. Once again, feel things out and gauge the vibe of the conversation before you start talking all things tree. These people are knowledgeable about the ways of the world, and can put you on the straight and narrow and high as hell.
If that doesn’t work, all is not lost. Go to a bar. Talk to bartenders. Talk to patrons who look like it isn’t their first time at said bar. Be casual. Strike up a normal conversation, and skirt the topic of weed. If they seem open to marijuana as a concept, you can go a little deeper and start alluding to the fact that you are on a weed hunt. You don’t have to try too hard to sound cool, but at the same time, you don’t want to be completely secretive. It’s weed, not meth, and people—at least the ones you find in bars—are probably at least open to it. There is no script here, but follow conversational cues and look for a doggy door into getting bud. Don’t chicken out, you chicken. (You’re not a chicken, I didn’t mean that.)
If neither of those things work, just talk to people. Talk to strangers. Strangers, in general, have the best candy. Strike up conversations; feel things out. The natural progression might just Go There. If you’re feeling the vibe, maybe consider bringing up the topic. If things are going well, repeat after me: “Hey, man, do you know where I can find some weed?” The worst he or she could say is no. Other possible responses include, “No, but I have a friend who does” or “That’s illegal,” in which case you could always pretend like you were just joking.

If your pot-smoking friends are no help (or if you don’t have any friends who are open weed-heads), then refer to your generally sketchiest friends. Everyone has sketchy friends. I have this friend Adam who is sketchy as hell: He always looks like he just sprouted forth from the ground on which he’s standing. He’s like a cross between Johnny Appleseed and a Cabbage Patch Kid that came from a swamp. Sometimes he shows up at my house with a joint because he wants to say hi and smoke a joint. It’s great. But he also has a tendency to lose his phone and recover it in the microwave or the fridge, and he pops up in the most unlikely of places, like on my couch. Anyway, he’s a sketchball, and I mean that lovingly. But Adam knows things about life that some of us just aren’t born knowing. And one of those things is, he knows where to find marijuana.

So you want to score some fresh weed, and you are not fortunate enough to live in one of those states that has made the sensible decision to decriminalize it. Congratulations: You’re cool, and you’ve come to the right place (within the wrong place). It’s not that hard to score bud with the right amount of finesse. Come with me as I guide you on a keef-paved road to sparking up.