The drink itself was a bright, neon yellow that looked slightly radioactive. Jolene said it tasted like synthetic blueberries and had a distinct aftertaste. She chugged it down over the course of ten minutes, and then refilled the bottle twice, choking down gulp after gulp of weird-tasting water until her stomach was bursting with 1.5 liters of liquid.
After three pees that, in Jolene’s words, “looked like I drank highlighter ink,” she took the test. It actually fucking worked. While the line was thin, it counted. Jolene tested negative for THC, despite having smoked several pre-noon bowls just hours before. We were both pretty shocked by this turn of events.
There are several of these on the market, “cleansing supplements” that, at a glance, seem to be nothing more than herbal energy drinks. On the back of each bottle, the language used is deliberately vague.
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
These drinks can be expensive—up to $60 a pop—but that’s a small price to pay when your job may be on the line. They all offer the same thing: a same-day, temporary fix for your THC-tainted piss, so long as you use ‘em exactly as directed.
Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
The only downside with synthetic urine is that you have to submit it within the human urine temperature range, which is a very small range that varies by only 10°F. That means, unless you have complete control over the sample temperature, you could get caught out and have your sample rejected for being too hot, or too cold.
You simply drink it over 15 minutes. You then refill the bottle and drink that water over 15 minutes. Then you urinate frequently for the next hour. It will help if you can abstain from toxins for 48 hours before the day of your test, and if you can use pre-rid pills than that will help even more, but for a basic urine sample drug test, with light toxin exposure, then Mega Clean on its own will be enough.
Well, I’m going to tell you the answers right now. We’re going to look at detox drinks vs synthetic urine, what the best detox drinks are, and if you’re in trouble, what the fastest way to pass a drug test actually is.
So Mega Clean is a very cost-effective way to quickly pass a urine sample drug test, and as long as you’ve got a bottle to hand, and a couple of hours before the test, then you can be pretty certain that you will pass easily. You can read my detailed review here.
Let’s cut to the chase, by telling you that a detox drink doesn’t actually detox your body at all.
No matter how many drug metabolites you have got in your body, no matter what you have taken to produce those metabolites, Ultra Eliminex has the power and concentration to get everything out of your urine, and give you a clear window of around five hours during which you can submit a toxin-free sample, which will pass every time. There really is no more powerful detox drink out there right now. Click here for my detailed review.
This means you must never be fooled by any detox drinks which claim to target THC. They simply cannot do that, because all a detox drink does is interact in the bladder, it cannot affect any metabolites that are yet to enter it.
Amazingly, there aren’t that many drug detox drinks out there that work. If you’re a really light user like you smoke a couple of joints a week, then most detox drinks will work, as long as they contain the basic ingredients to flush the toxins out, and they contain vitamins, minerals, and creatine, to keep your urine balance natural. I’ll mention a couple to you:
If you are a chronic weed smoker, I’m talking three or four joints a day, every single day, then the number of metabolites you have in your system will mean that any detox drink struggles. The reason for this is that the number of metabolites coming into your bladder will be constant, which means once you flush them out, within an hour or so they will be back present again.
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it's no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.