When it comes to balancing a professional life with even a casual weed habit, American stoners have a delicate line to walk. Despite being recreationally legal in nine states and medicinally legal in 29, the federal ban on marijuana consumption means employers across the country have the right to refuse or terminate the employment of anyone who fails a drug test for THC.
Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
According to a poll released by the Society for Human Resource Management, about 57 percent of American companies subject employees to drug tests. That’s down significantly from 81 percent in 1996, possibly because employers are finding it increasingly difficult to find quality candidates who are able to pass.
There are several of these on the market, “cleansing supplements” that, at a glance, seem to be nothing more than herbal energy drinks. On the back of each bottle, the language used is deliberately vague.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
Ultra Eliminex is expensive compared to some of the other detox drinks. Sure, you can get cheaper with money off, but it is still about 20% more expensive. But there’s a reason for this, it’s the most powerful formula on the market today.
But for light users, a detox drink is definitely one of the fastest ways to pass a drug test. If you’ve got a couple of days notice, then abstain, that will really help, but the most powerful detox drinks, with a moderate user, will definitely mask the toxins for a handful of hours.
There are actually very few detox drinks out there that genuinely work. Mega Clean is one of those few that actually does the job it’s designed to do.
- Avoid all toxins for a minimum of 48-72 hours (stop smoking weed&using drugs).
- It’s not allowed to eat and drink in the 4 hours leading up to taking Rescue Cleanse.
- Shake the bottle and drink all of it within ten minutes.
- Fill the bottle up with cold water and drink that in the next fifteen minutes.
- Try to pee a minimum twice in the next hour. Do not eat or drink.
There are some real questions around detox drinks for THC. Like do they actually work? Can you even get a detox drink that targets THC metabolites at all?
Well, I’m going to tell you the answers right now. We’re going to look at detox drinks vs synthetic urine, what the best detox drinks are, and if you’re in trouble, what the fastest way to pass a drug test actually is.
So if you’re a moderate user, let’s say you have a handful of joints a week, and you are unsure about smuggling synthetic urine in or having to keep it within the right temperature range, then detox drinks are the best option.
What it does is to flush the toxins out of your bladder, so that you have clean urine for a few hours. Now with any other sort of liquid, that would also make your sample unusual. So a detox drink that is good quality, contains nutrients, minerals and things like creatine so that your urine appears natural.
So I talked about synthetic urine a moment ago. If you get good quality stuff, like Sub Solution, then it will pass any type of standard drug test. As long as you’ve got the courage to submit it, by smuggling it into the lab testing facility, then it will pass.
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it's no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.