In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
After three pees that, in Jolene’s words, “looked like I drank highlighter ink,” she took the test. It actually fucking worked. While the line was thin, it counted. Jolene tested negative for THC, despite having smoked several pre-noon bowls just hours before. We were both pretty shocked by this turn of events.
But do they actually, like, work? This is a question even the most diligent Googler is wont to find. As it stands, all the available information on these detox drinks seems to be either an obvious paid promotion for one brand or another, or come from anons with usernames like Stoner4Lyfe420 on eight-year old marijuana message board threads.
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
According to a poll released by the Society for Human Resource Management, about 57 percent of American companies subject employees to drug tests. That’s down significantly from 81 percent in 1996, possibly because employers are finding it increasingly difficult to find quality candidates who are able to pass.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
They are not cheap, between $50- $80, but these are the best detox drinks you can get. If you buy Mega Clean with pre-rid pills, it costs 69$ it’s definitely a powerful option, you just need to take them the 24 hours before your drug test. Rescue Cleanse and Ultra Eliminex are also great detox drinks. They both work the standard way, you drink them, urinate frequently in the hour afterward, and you should be then clean for up to 5 hours. Rescue Cleanse costs only $55. Ultra Eliminex is probably the strongest detox drink on the market, designed for heavy smokers with large body mass. It’s not cheap, one bottle costs $80, but you get what you pay for.
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it’s no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.
Ultra Eliminex is expensive compared to some of the other detox drinks. Sure, you can get cheaper with money off, but it is still about 20% more expensive. But there’s a reason for this, it’s the most powerful formula on the market today.
So I talked about synthetic urine a moment ago. If you get good quality stuff, like Sub Solution, then it will pass any type of standard drug test. As long as you’ve got the courage to submit it, by smuggling it into the lab testing facility, then it will pass.
Let’s cut to the chase, by telling you that a detox drink doesn’t actually detox your body at all.
Also, you can’t really submit synthetic urine if it’s a supervised drug test, although they tend to be under the order of courts, probation, or for insurance purposes, rather than the more standard pre-employment, and on-the-job testing.
The only downside with synthetic urine is that you have to submit it within the human urine temperature range, which is a very small range that varies by only 10°F. That means, unless you have complete control over the sample temperature, you could get caught out and have your sample rejected for being too hot, or too cold.
However, it does take nerves of steel to smuggle urine in, so the fastest way to pass a drug test, could also then be a detox drink. As long as you have got two hours notice, you could pass using a detox drink. Whether you are using detox drinks for THC masking, or any type of drug metabolite, then it will come down to the quality of the detox drink, and how many metabolites you have got in your body.
What it does is to flush the toxins out of your bladder, so that you have clean urine for a few hours. Now with any other sort of liquid, that would also make your sample unusual. So a detox drink that is good quality, contains nutrients, minerals and things like creatine so that your urine appears natural.
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it's no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.