The drink itself was a bright, neon yellow that looked slightly radioactive. Jolene said it tasted like synthetic blueberries and had a distinct aftertaste. She chugged it down over the course of ten minutes, and then refilled the bottle twice, choking down gulp after gulp of weird-tasting water until her stomach was bursting with 1.5 liters of liquid.
When it comes to balancing a professional life with even a casual weed habit, American stoners have a delicate line to walk. Despite being recreationally legal in nine states and medicinally legal in 29, the federal ban on marijuana consumption means employers across the country have the right to refuse or terminate the employment of anyone who fails a drug test for THC.
While Jeff Sessions seems to believe otherwise, countless studies have shown marijuana to be significantly less dangerous than other Schedule I drugs like heroin and cocaine and much safer than legal substances like alcohol and tobacco. To add insult to injury, when it comes to pre- or post-employment drug testing—which most often takes the form of a urine test—marijuana is the substance that takes the longest to get out of your system.
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
First up, we had Jolene try out a 17-ounce bottle of Rescue Detox. According to Karen, the very sweet Applied Sciences customer service lady we reached at the “LIVE SUPPORT” number listed at the bottom of the bottle, Jolene had to avoid eating for five hours before she did the cleanse. Luckily, it was Sunday, so Jolene had just woken up from a four and a half hour nap after spending the morning smoking and eating an entire large portion of Popeye’s mac and cheese, as one does.
There are several of these on the market, “cleansing supplements” that, at a glance, seem to be nothing more than herbal energy drinks. On the back of each bottle, the language used is deliberately vague.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
So a detox drink is good if you are only a light user or smoker. If you have heavy toxin exposure, you could only get a couple of hours before your sample contains metabolites again.
Detox drinks work for THC or any drug metabolite, but you have to realize that you only have a few hours to submit your sample before you will get caught out again.
So if you’re a moderate user, let’s say you have a handful of joints a week, and you are unsure about smuggling synthetic urine in or having to keep it within the right temperature range, then detox drinks are the best option.
As long as you submit your sample within about 2-3 hours of your final urination, then you should have a clean sample. Obviously the closer to taking Mega Clean that you submit the sample the better, as you’ll need to allow at least 90 minutes for it to work its magic.
It’s really easy to use Mega Clean:
It’s very easy to use, with the following straightforward instructions:
What it does is to flush the toxins out of your bladder, so that you have clean urine for a few hours. Now with any other sort of liquid, that would also make your sample unusual. So a detox drink that is good quality, contains nutrients, minerals and things like creatine so that your urine appears natural.
Ultra Eliminex is expensive compared to some of the other detox drinks. Sure, you can get cheaper with money off, but it is still about 20% more expensive. But there’s a reason for this, it’s the most powerful formula on the market today.
They are not cheap, between $50- $80, but these are the best detox drinks you can get. If you buy Mega Clean with pre-rid pills, it costs 69$ it’s definitely a powerful option, you just need to take them the 24 hours before your drug test. Rescue Cleanse and Ultra Eliminex are also great detox drinks. They both work the standard way, you drink them, urinate frequently in the hour afterward, and you should be then clean for up to 5 hours. Rescue Cleanse costs only $55. Ultra Eliminex is probably the strongest detox drink on the market, designed for heavy smokers with large body mass. It’s not cheap, one bottle costs $80, but you get what you pay for.
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it's no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.