The drink itself was a bright, neon yellow that looked slightly radioactive. Jolene said it tasted like synthetic blueberries and had a distinct aftertaste. She chugged it down over the course of ten minutes, and then refilled the bottle twice, choking down gulp after gulp of weird-tasting water until her stomach was bursting with 1.5 liters of liquid.
According to a poll released by the Society for Human Resource Management, about 57 percent of American companies subject employees to drug tests. That’s down significantly from 81 percent in 1996, possibly because employers are finding it increasingly difficult to find quality candidates who are able to pass.
As such, we decided to put three brands to the test:
In the photo above, you’ll see Jolene’s first pre-drink test. It is very positive. The “C” on the test stands for “Control.” The line next to it appears whether the test is negative or positive. The “T” stands for “Test.” If a line appears in “T,” the test is negative. If no line appears, the test is positive. As you can see above, Jolene was not able to produce a “T” line because she is high af.
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
But do they actually, like, work? This is a question even the most diligent Googler is wont to find. As it stands, all the available information on these detox drinks seems to be either an obvious paid promotion for one brand or another, or come from anons with usernames like Stoner4Lyfe420 on eight-year old marijuana message board threads.
Our test was simple. We ordered a ten-pack of THC pee tests from Amazon for $7.99, and recruited a regular recreational weed smoker—a 28-year-old woman we’ll call “Jolene”—to test out these drinks over the course of a week without altering her normal weed habits. She’d try out one drink every two days, and take a control test before starting each one to make sure she was still testing positive before drinking them. Then she’d follow the directions on each bottle and see whether she could piss herself clean.
There are several of these on the market, “cleansing supplements” that, at a glance, seem to be nothing more than herbal energy drinks. On the back of each bottle, the language used is deliberately vague.
When it comes to balancing a professional life with even a casual weed habit, American stoners have a delicate line to walk. Despite being recreationally legal in nine states and medicinally legal in 29, the federal ban on marijuana consumption means employers across the country have the right to refuse or terminate the employment of anyone who fails a drug test for THC.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
There are some real questions around detox drinks for THC. Like do they actually work? Can you even get a detox drink that targets THC metabolites at all?
If you are short on time, the fastest way to pass a drug test is actually synthetic urine. I’ll talk more about the pros and cons of synthetic urine Vs detox drinks in a moment, but it is the surefire way to pass.
Then you have a small window of opportunity, usually around five hours after you’ve drunk it, during which you can submit your sample. If you have more metabolites in your body, which most of the time you will if you are a regular smoker, then after a few hours, the bladder will fill up with toxins again.
Detox drinks work for THC or any drug metabolite, but you have to realize that you only have a few hours to submit your sample before you will get caught out again.
So a detox drink is good if you are only a light user or smoker. If you have heavy toxin exposure, you could only get a couple of hours before your sample contains metabolites again.
It works by flushing out the toxins in your bladder and urinary tract. But unlike water, it also replaces the nutrients and balance lost during that flushing out process. It contains ingredients like creatine, vitamins, and minerals, found in human urine, that help the balance to be naturally ready for testing by the lab.
Also, you can’t really submit synthetic urine if it’s a supervised drug test, although they tend to be under the order of courts, probation, or for insurance purposes, rather than the more standard pre-employment, and on-the-job testing.
Ultra Eliminex is expensive compared to some of the other detox drinks. Sure, you can get cheaper with money off, but it is still about 20% more expensive. But there’s a reason for this, it’s the most powerful formula on the market today.
- Avoid all toxins for a minimum of 48-72 hours (stop smoking weed&using drugs).
- It’s not allowed to eat and drink in the 4 hours leading up to taking Rescue Cleanse.
- Shake the bottle and drink all of it within ten minutes.
- Fill the bottle up with cold water and drink that in the next fifteen minutes.
- Try to pee a minimum twice in the next hour. Do not eat or drink.
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it's no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.