Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
These drinks can be expensive—up to $60 a pop—but that’s a small price to pay when your job may be on the line. They all offer the same thing: a same-day, temporary fix for your THC-tainted piss, so long as you use ‘em exactly as directed.
For context, Jolene’s marijuana consumption is probably slightly, but not much, below average for stoners. She smokes a bowl most days after work, and blazes up two to three times a day on the weekends. Occasionally she’ll have an edible or do a dab, but says she usually sticks to traditional smoking methods—bowls, bongs, and joints. Most of these drinks caution “heavy” users to double their dosage, or go with a more concentrated version, so if you smoke more or less than Jolene, you’re likely to have different results. And none of the results we got here should be considered scientific or at all conclusive.
While Jeff Sessions seems to believe otherwise, countless studies have shown marijuana to be significantly less dangerous than other Schedule I drugs like heroin and cocaine and much safer than legal substances like alcohol and tobacco. To add insult to injury, when it comes to pre- or post-employment drug testing—which most often takes the form of a urine test—marijuana is the substance that takes the longest to get out of your system.
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
When it comes to balancing a professional life with even a casual weed habit, American stoners have a delicate line to walk. Despite being recreationally legal in nine states and medicinally legal in 29, the federal ban on marijuana consumption means employers across the country have the right to refuse or terminate the employment of anyone who fails a drug test for THC.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
Various different drug screening methods can detect THC use, such as hair samples, blood samples, and urine samples. Chances are that your workplace will most likely elect to test urine samples. THC metabolites can stay in the body for varying amounts of time, with factors such as the potency of the weed, metabolism, and the amount of weed smoked contributing to overall duration.
Despite being comparatively safer than other drugs and demonstrating well-researched medicinal properties, cannabis is still surrounded by social stigma. This negative public image was born out of propaganda crusades that took place in the early 20th century to smear the herb in the name of competition, profit, and ignorance. Although many countries are paving the way to legalisation and social acceptance, many more continue to enforce prohibition. These laws fly in the face of science and cause trickle-down judgement within society as a whole.
Do you have a drug test coming up soon? Have you been hitting the bong quite frequently lately? Well fear not, there is still a chance you could pass the test with flying colours. These detox drinks are reported to help remove THC from the system.
Lots of juice, fruits, and fluids. This drug test passing business is seeming pretty healthy right? Next on our list is the slightly tart but equally delicious option of cranberry juice. Cranberry juice is perhaps one of the most widely suggested options when it comes to a THC detox. The science behind this option isn’t exactly clear, but it seems to derive from anecdotal success and experimentation.
For some people, smoking cannabis is a recreational ritual that comforts the soul and greatly enhances social engagement and the creative process. For others, it is a daily requirement to fend off symptoms of anxiety, depression, chronic pain, and even epilepsy. As such, many individuals use cannabis regardless of the rules in effect at their workplace.
When it comes to urine samples, an infrequent user will test positive on a drug test up to four days after last smoking the herb. A frequent user will test positive up to 10 days after, and a heavy user can show up positive anywhere between 1–2 months after last smoking. Detox drinks serve as a tool to reduce these timeframes.
Detox drinks work by flushing THC metabolites out of the system. They are comprised of various substances that are supposed to cleanse the body of those suspicious metabolites to boost the chances of passing a drug test. However, these concoctions are not magic bullets, and a healthy dose of realism needs to be applied when taking them. Chugging a detox drink after hitting a fat bowl hours before work won’t instantly remove the psychoactive cannabinoid from your circulatory system. A short period of abstinence is required alongside these liquids in order to maximise effectiveness.
Lemon juice has been proposed as a detox drink in general. Many health gurus and fitness preachers espouse its effectiveness in cleansing the body and shifting toxins. Some experts are unsure whether lemon really has strong detoxing properties, but the citrus fruit does contain hefty amounts of vitamins nonetheless.
If the acidic nature of lemon juice doesn’t do any favours for your digestive system, you can just keep things simple. Water might not seem like a miracle elixir when it comes to passing a drug test, but drinking enough of it will dilute your urine and have you peeing clear. If you have a drug test sprung up on you, aim to really smash down the water during the hour before it occurs. Although, submitting a urine sample that is entirely transparent and crystal clear might seem quite suspicious and disqualify your sample. But at least you are far more likely to pass it.
While cannabis is remarkably safe, stigma still surrounds the herb. Many employers test for THC, but these detox drinks may help you pass future drug tests.