“Drink the entire bottle 60 to 90 minutes before your desired time.”
Photo on left from Getty Images. Right and all other photos via the author
But do they actually, like, work? This is a question even the most diligent Googler is wont to find. As it stands, all the available information on these detox drinks seems to be either an obvious paid promotion for one brand or another, or come from anons with usernames like Stoner4Lyfe420 on eight-year old marijuana message board threads.
“Frequent urination indicates that you are experiencing optimal cleansing.”
The drug tests we purchased are pretty standard pee tests. Basically you wee into a cup, take the cap off the drug test, and then submerge the little rectangular piece at the end for about ten seconds. Results take about five minutes. The test we bought for the purposes of this experiment are used specifically to detect THC and nothing else.
Karen told her to drink Rescue an hour before “cleansing time,” then refill the bottle with water twice and drink that within 30 minutes. She was then supposed to pee three times, after which she should be good to go for three to five hours. Quite a lot of work!
While Jeff Sessions seems to believe otherwise, countless studies have shown marijuana to be significantly less dangerous than other Schedule I drugs like heroin and cocaine and much safer than legal substances like alcohol and tobacco. To add insult to injury, when it comes to pre- or post-employment drug testing—which most often takes the form of a urine test—marijuana is the substance that takes the longest to get out of your system.
According to a poll released by the Society for Human Resource Management, about 57 percent of American companies subject employees to drug tests. That’s down significantly from 81 percent in 1996, possibly because employers are finding it increasingly difficult to find quality candidates who are able to pass.
Luckily for them, and those of us who enjoy the occasional after-work blunt or who use marijuana to treat otherwise unmanageable chronic illnesses, there’s an entire industry devoted to beating the dreaded piss test. With enough advanced notice, there might be several ways you could go—quitting outright, subbing your dirty pee with a straight edge friend’s. But if your boss springs the news on you with only hours to spare, you’ve got pretty much one viable option: detox drinks.
From the Stinger Detox to the Detoxify Xxtraclean Herbal Cleanse & Rescue Detox, we tested these detox drinks that say they’ll help you pass a urine test.
Also, you can’t really submit synthetic urine if it’s a supervised drug test, although they tend to be under the order of courts, probation, or for insurance purposes, rather than the more standard pre-employment, and on-the-job testing.
Let’s cut to the chase, by telling you that a detox drink doesn’t actually detox your body at all.
Well, I’m going to tell you the answers right now. We’re going to look at detox drinks vs synthetic urine, what the best detox drinks are, and if you’re in trouble, what the fastest way to pass a drug test actually is.
- Avoid all toxins for a minimum of 48-72 hours (stop smoking weed&using drugs).
- It’s not allowed to eat and drink in the 4 hours leading up to taking Rescue Cleanse.
- Shake the bottle and drink all of it within ten minutes.
- Fill the bottle up with cold water and drink that in the next fifteen minutes.
- Try to pee a minimum twice in the next hour. Do not eat or drink.
This means you must never be fooled by any detox drinks which claim to target THC. They simply cannot do that, because all a detox drink does is interact in the bladder, it cannot affect any metabolites that are yet to enter it.
No matter how many drug metabolites you have got in your body, no matter what you have taken to produce those metabolites, Ultra Eliminex has the power and concentration to get everything out of your urine, and give you a clear window of around five hours during which you can submit a toxin-free sample, which will pass every time. There really is no more powerful detox drink out there right now. Click here for my detailed review.
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It works by flushing out the toxins in your bladder and urinary tract. But unlike water, it also replaces the nutrients and balance lost during that flushing out process. It contains ingredients like creatine, vitamins, and minerals, found in human urine, that help the balance to be naturally ready for testing by the lab.
It’s very easy to use, with the following straightforward instructions:
With so many people smoking weed, but employers still not giving jobs to people they detect smoking the occasional joint, it's no wonder that people are looking to use detox drinks for THC, to cover up the fact they smoke a bit of weed.