Armentano: The test itself is screening for metabolites, which are breakdown products of certain active drugs. The test is going to be more sensitive or more likely to detect those metabolites when the urine is concentrated. The less concentrated or the more diluted the sample is, the less sensitive or accurate the test is going to be. Consuming any sort of fluid, but particularly diuretic fluids, in the hours prior to a test is going to lead to a less concentrated sample, and thus is going to lead to a less sensitive test result. But of course, drug testing labs are well aware of people trying to dilute their urine through the use of fluids, and there’s a number of different ways they try to test to see if a sample is overly diluted or not. Again, it’s all cat-and-mouse kind of game.
Cooper: Test Clear and Pass Your Test. I know that shit works. For the last 12 years I’ve been working to keep people out of jail. These detox drinks do that. And the detox products for the hair follicles [work also]. I’ve been doing this a long time. They work.
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What about dilution? How much water should your drink?
Cooper: There’s a rhyme that says, “The solution to pollution is dilution.” There’s a lot of truth to that. The problem is when we dilute and drink a lot of water—the idea is to drink it an hour before your test—you pee really nothing but water. The amounts of THC are not high enough to be detectable. The problem is that the color of the urine is the same color as pure water. When they see that, it’s usually flagged as a test that’s been tampered with. That’s why a lot of these products, these detox drinks, they tell you to drink a lot of water with it. But it has niacin and other colorings added to it on purpose so your urine is a normal color after diluting.
What about the THC sticks to fat cells argument?
Cooper: There are home remedies that work, but they don’t work 100-percent. There are so many different factors in terms of being able to fool these drug tests. I tell people all the time I wouldn’t take my chance with lemon juice and cinnamon and several other things you can mix together, that’s one home drink that works sometimes. I just wouldn’t take a chance with my freedom on those. I would go to a local head shop or go online and buy from a good source because that’s the only way to really pass excepting abstinence.
Different metabolites have different half-lives. Cannabis is different [than] cocaine. That has to do with the makeup of the metabolite itself. Carboxy-THC is lipid-soluble. Cocaine’s metabolite is water-soluble. A water-soluble metabolite is going to be broken down and excreted as waste by the body much more quickly than will a fat-soluble metabolite. It’s literally simply the chemistry of THC that makes it present for a far longer time than it would otherwise be. Someone’s metabolic rate may influence some variation of how long that process is going to take. But at a fundamental level, drug tests are going to be much more likely to identify someone who uses cannabis as opposed to someone who uses other drugs, simply because cannabis’ metabolite is fat-soluble and most other drug metabolites are water-soluble.
Armentano: Abstinence is the only sure-fire way to beat a drug test. And of course, drug tests and labs are human. It’s even possible that somebody may have never been exposed to illicit drugs and could have an unfortunate incidence where their test comes back positive anyway. That’s why our samples are generally split into an A sample and a B sample. In case something like that happens.
You always hear people talk about putting bleach or detergent in the urine and the like, any truths to these home remedies?
Armentano: Well, there’s different strategies people employ prior to taking a test. With a product that is going to lower the sensitivity of the test. Another option is the use of an adulterant, which is something that is added to the sample itself in hopes that that’s going to create a false negative result. When it comes to the latter adulterants, again that’s your sort of perfect example of a cat-and-mouse game. There are certainly products that, when added to urine, can throw off the sensitivity of the test. In most cases, over time, the drug testing industry becomes aware of what those adulterants are, and they either begin to screen for the adulterant itself, or they check some sort of composition of the urine that they anticipate will be altered when an adulterant is used.
Some of the detoxifying drinks may work.
Hair tests can detect THC and other substances in your head and body hair for months or even years after usage, depending on the test—although most labs take a 1.5-inch sample of head hair, which detects usage back roughly 90 days.
At that point, I’m basically saying this person is losing their job, or not getting hired, or just failed their parole, and so on and so forth,” Dobie says. Dobie left Kroll to pursue a dental career. He’s currently enrolled as a graduate student at Tulane University.
Alcohol: 6 to 24 hours (so just don’t be hammered while taking the test)
One employee of a major Hartford insurance agency suggested a special drink, available at stores like GNC. It’s one of many products that promise to help the “flushing” process along. A visit to a GNC and a Vitamin World at the Westfield Shoppingtown Mall in Enfield found such a product, along with pills and special shampoos (for hair tests). It’s best to find the products yourself, as store clerks would not help us when we specifically asked for drug-testing products. You’ll know when you’ve found the right stuff.
Marijuana: 2 days to 11 weeks
However, whether you just drank lots of water or juice, or supplemented that process with something from your friendly neighborhood vitamin store, it will likely be apparent to drug testers. Your urine will be clear–and that’s a sign that you’ve flushed your system. Such a sample may also be flagged for additional tests to make sure it isn’t just water.
Last May, Onterrio Smith of the NFL’s Minnesota Vikings was briefly detained by airport security when one such device known as “The Original Whizzinator” was found in a bag he was carrying. If you’re not confident of your friend’s ability to give you a clean urine sample, Dobie says that’s not a problem, either. You can just make your own synthetic urine. He suggests that if you knew the proper amounts, maybe by consulting a chemist, you could combine water, yellow food dye and creatinine (a breakdown product found in all mammals’ urine) to make a passable urine sample.
That goes for the rest of you, too. The best way to beat a drug test is simple, cheap and easy: Don’t do drugs in the weeks leading up to the test. And there’s a pretty good chance you’re eventually going to have to take a drug test. According to a 2004 American Management Association (AMA) study, 61.8% of companies surveyed said they test employees for illegal substances. Some might say that’s for good reason, as three out of every four current illicit drug users in the United States are employed, and companies are losing roughly $81 billion a year in lost productivity due to drug use, according to the Department of Labor.
As with most drugs, it will remain in your system longer with habitual or chronic use. Dobie estimates that a typical, frequent marijuana user will have evidence of it in his or her system for about three weeks. So, erring on the extreme side of caution, it’s probably best to refrain from smoking pot three months prior to testing. Also, it’d be a good idea to remove the picture of you doing a bong hit from your FB profile.
The High Times Ultimate Guide to Pass a Drug Test. We surveyed and investigated, so you can pass your drug screening.